Curry, IPA and English domination...Mumbai(formerly Bombay), India

Mumbai was once Bombay before the British rule ended in India. If this trip was all I knew about the world, I would have to make the conclusion that at one time in the recent past England ruled the entire planet.

I hate feeling like I went somewhere great and saw something lame. I wish I had a friend in every country of the world who could tell me exactly what I needed to do in everywhere I go. I mapped out the journey as best I could before leaving in January, and I continue to research where I’m going in between shows, but most of the time I still feel clueless. Today was not one of those days.

Mumbai began with a group of 10 friends until we became bitterly torn between Gucci/Armani and a 70 year-old Indian man. Lindsay, Joel and I, united in our desire to see the ‘real’ Mumbai, set off with our toothless Indian guru to the nastiest, sketchiest, most exciting and holy places in the massive metropolis. Initially we blew off our guide, unable to distinguish him from all the other annoying street peddlers relentlessly trying to sell their crap to any American still wearing a shirt, but our guide turned out to be the most enthralling character and knowledgeable guide I’ve had on my journey thus far. He (I’ll call him ‘Guru’ from here on out) had no problem taking us into the deepest parts of the poor and corrupt sections of Mumbai, often offering disclaimers before entering in case we wanted to opt out. The city was a culture shock, as it’s much larger and surprisingly even more overpopulated than Cochin. Slum communities lined the sidewalks and spilled onto the streets beside skyscrapers where people lived on top of one another in tiny rooms made out of scrap metal. This part of Mumbai reminded me of a city I once visited outside Monterrey, Mexico. Families began moving into one of Monterrey’s trash dumps becoming so populated that eventually the government was forced to call the dump a city, though they continued to deposit trash there for some time.

At one point, Guru took us on a walk around one of the parks, stopping in the shade for his history lessons as he seemed to know that the 100degree Indian heat was more than us whiteys could handle. At the end of our walk, the three of us were approached by a man in his early 30s, his wife and three kids who seemed to want a picture with us. This happened quite a lot in India and the surrounding countries, and even more so today due to Lindsay’s bleach blonde hair and matching complexion. As a result, I didn’t think anything of it, until Guru stepped in and began arguing with the man. I don’t care the language. There’s no mistaking ‘pissed off’. It seemed as though frail 70 year-old Guru was stepping up to this comparatively huge guy and over what, I had no idea. As a crowd began to swell around them, I found myself paralyzed watching the event unfold and. So much, in fact, that I didn’t even think to raise the video camera in my hand in case Guru (or his widow) could use the account in court. I realized the gravity of the situation (and so did his head) as Guru flew backwards through the air, skimming across the pavement like…well like a 70 year-old Indian guy across pavement. We stepped in and motioned for him to take our picture, which was apparently all he wanted, because afterwards he and his family were just as nice and appreciative as could be. We picked Guru up and into the cab before asking him what the hell?! He muttered something about the Mumbai mafia and we didn’t push the issue.

Guru...


Mumbai building...


Downtown slums beside skyscappers...


The city wash. A must see. This is where most of the 13.66 million citizens (2nd in world behind Shanghai) of Mumbai wash their clothes...


Hannah Montana has small children selling her merch in India...


Facade of Ghandi’s apartment (or as Kanye would say “apart-a-men”)...


Ghandi's apartment...


My best friend just got a job as a photographer and writer for a world help company. He’s flown all over the world taking pictures of the kids you can feed for 30 years on a quarter. I figured I’d save my friend a trip to India...


Indian squab: Guru vs. Mafia...


Outside a Hindu temple...(Don’t mind my mismatched socks. I didn’t anticipate having to take my shoes off)




Inside temple...




Curry and IPA...


Reflective taxi ride @ end of the day...